Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
