I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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