You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
