it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
