can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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