I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
