Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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