my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
