i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
