Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
