and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
