i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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