i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
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Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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