i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the room spins SO much faster in panama
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
