The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
