She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
