Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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