i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
