This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
