Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
