just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
