I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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