That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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