He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
tell me about the fingering
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