grandma shit on top of the toilet
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
