You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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