i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Of course I have a pirate flag
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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