omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
