Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
