you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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