i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
