Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
