I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
