a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
