can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
