Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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