i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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