can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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