ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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