my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Found the puke drawer
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
