He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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