My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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