I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
