You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
As shirtless as possible
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
