I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize