There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
