someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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