I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize