You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
