He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
