Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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