i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
