If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
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I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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