watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize