We're facebook friends in real life
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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