So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
