after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
