Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
