I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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