do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
